Most parents spend hours negotiating custody schedules, holiday divisions, and child support. Almost no one thinks carefully about electronic communication until there’s a problem.
Then the calls stop. Or they happen at 10 pm. Contacting a child after their bedtime is generally unreasonable and can disrupt their sleep schedule, so it’s important to respect their bedtime when arranging electronic communication.
Or one parent picks up the phone and hands it to the child without giving them any privacy. Respecting a child’s privacy in electronic communication is important, and Texas Family Code 153.015(c) highlights legal considerations regarding a child’s right to private communication with the other parent.
Or worse, the order doesn’t mention electronic communication at all, and the other parent simply refuses to allow it. If a court order does not include electronic communication, the other parent is not legally required to do so.
Electronic communication between a parent and child is a real legal issue, and a well-drafted electronic communication clause in your custody order is one of the most practical things you can have. Here’s what you need to know.
What Is Electronic Communication in Family Law?
Electronic communication is a broad category. In family law, it includes communication through telephone, email, instant messaging, videoconferencing, webcam, and platforms such as Facebook Messenger. Courts treat all of these as forms of parental access to a child when the child is physically with the other parent.
Virtual visitation, also called virtual visits or e-visitation, refers to scheduled video calls and other interactive digital contact that supplements in-person visits. Electronic communication is not a substitute for physical possession of a child, but it can supplement a parent’s access. The primary purpose of virtual visitation is to give non-custodial parents additional opportunities for long-distance parenting and to help the child maintain a meaningful connection with both parents between physical possession periods.
Courts consistently treat electronic communication as a supplement to, not a replacement for, physical parenting time. A parent’s in-person time with their child cannot be offset or replaced by video calls, and electronic access generally does not affect child support calculations.
When Courts Can Order Electronic Communication
A judge may include electronic communication in a custody order when it serves the parent-child relationship and the child’s best interests. Parents can request court-ordered electronic communication with their child through a custody suit or modification suit.
Courts can include virtual visitation in initial custody orders, or it can be added later through a modification lawsuit if the current order doesn’t address it. Electronic communication custody orders can be established through mutual parental agreement or by court order if parents cannot agree.
If parents agree to electronic communication, it is up to them to follow the agreement.
A court-ordered parenting plan can include provisions for virtual visitation, ensuring that electronic communication is addressed in accordance with the child’s best interests and the technological capabilities of the parents.
What Triggers Electronic Communication Being Ordered
Courts often include electronic communication provisions when parents live far apart, and in-person visits are infrequent, when one parent travels frequently for work or has busy work schedules, when a parent is incarcerated, and virtual visits are the primary available contact, or when the child’s age and school schedule make regular in-person contact logistically difficult.
Texas courts may include electronic communication in custody orders to facilitate long-distance parenting and ensure non-custodial parent access, with such communication ordered to maintain the parent-child relationship.
What the Order Must Specify
Courts that award electronic communication don’t just say “calls are allowed.” A well-drafted electronic communication custody order specifies the method, days and times, frequency, duration limit per session, and the obligations each parent has to make the call happen. Vague orders create disputes. Specific orders prevent them.
If a court orders electronic communication, each parent must provide the other with current contact information, including cell phone number, email addresses, and any platform-specific usernames the child uses.
Parents must also share and update the child’s screen name or online contact information as part of the court-mandated communication details. Courts require parents to update this information promptly, often within 24 to 72 hours of any change. Failing to share updated contact information, including how a parent can reach the child, including email addresses, phone numbers, and online identifiers, can constitute a violation of the court order and may expose a parent to contempt proceedings.
Types of Electronic Communication and Their Uses
Video Calls
Video calls, whether through FaceTime, Zoom, Google Meet, or similar platforms, are the richest form of virtual communication. They provide visual contact and allow shared activities, such as reading together or watching the child play. Courts favor video calls for parent-child contact because the presence of a face-to-face element more closely mirrors the experience of in-person visits.
Phone Calls
Phone calls remain common for quick check-ins and situations where video access is unreliable. For younger children with a short attention span, a brief phone call may be more appropriate than a lengthy video session. Courts recognize this and may specify different formats based on the child’s age.
Texting and Instant Messaging
Texting and instant messaging enable asynchronous communication, which older children and teens often prefer. These methods raise additional questions about privacy and monitoring, addressed below.
Co-Parenting Apps and Platforms
In high-conflict situations, courts may mandate the use of specific co-parenting platforms, such as TalkingParents or OurFamilyWizard. Some court orders may include a nondisclosure clause, which exempts certain parents from sharing contact information; legal counsel can help parents understand and navigate these clauses.
Courts may also require the use of these co-parenting apps to ensure that all communications are recorded and easily accessible for review. These apps centralize scheduling, log all communications, and prevent direct contact between hostile co-parents while maintaining a documented record of all exchanges. Courts can refer to these records in enforcement or modification proceedings.
Factors Courts Consider When Drafting Electronic Access Orders
Child’s Age
The child’s age significantly shapes both the format and frequency of electronic communication. Very young children with limited attention spans may only manage brief, frequent contacts. Older children and teenagers may prefer less frequent but longer or more independent communication. Court-ordered parenting plans should reflect the child’s developmental stage.
Child’s School and Routine
Courts weigh the child’s school schedule, extracurricular activities, and child’s bedtime when setting electronic communication windows. Courts typically set guidelines for electronic communication, such as reasonable times that do not disrupt the child’s school, sleep, or activities. Calling at 7 am before school or at 10 pm on a school night is not reasonable, and an order that allows it invites conflict.
Safety Concerns
In family violence cases or situations involving domestic violence, courts may restrict electronic communication to supervised platforms or prohibit direct contact entirely to protect the child’s safety. In cases of safety concerns, courts may restrict the type of electronic communication allowed. Supervised visitation can also be adapted to virtual formats to facilitate parent-child interactions when in-person visits are unsafe or restricted, with third-party oversight and security measures in place. This is especially important for many parents who face challenges such as domestic violence, abuse, or emergency circumstances. Safety concerns can limit both the type and the content of permitted electronic access.
Parental Cooperation and Technical Ability
Courts consider whether both parents have the technical skills and the ability to facilitate virtual visits, as well as whether their parental conflict history suggests that unstructured electronic access will lead to interference or misuse. Parents may need to help their child fix technical issues with devices or internet connectivity, but should maintain privacy during sensitive conversations. A court may also consider factors like the child’s age and the availability of necessary equipment when formulating electronic communication orders. Parents who demonstrate they can cooperate typically receive broader, more flexible electronic communication terms than those with a documented history of obstruction.
Drafting Custody Agreements That Cover Electronic Communication
If you’re negotiating an electronic communication agreement, specificity is your best tool. When parents agree on the terms of electronic communication, their mutual arrangement can be formalized in writing. If properly documented, this agreement can become an enforceable contract that the court can uphold. For example, a Rule 11 Agreement is a written document that can be filed to enforce electronic communication agreements between parents. If one parent refuses to comply with a written electronic communication agreement, the other parent can file an enforcement lawsuit to compel compliance.
A written agreement should cover:
Method. Which platforms are permitted. Whether video, phone, or messaging is allowed, and under what conditions.
Schedule. Specific days and times, not just “reasonable times.” For example: Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 7:00 to 7:30 pm, and one additional call on weekends at a mutually agreed time.
Duration limits. Maximum session length per call to prevent interference with the other parent’s time.
Contact information obligations. Each parent’s duty is to provide and update phone number, email, and platform credentials within a specified window.
Device and data costs. Which parent is responsible for ensuring the child has access to a functional device and internet connection during scheduled virtual visits.
Remedies for denial. What happens if one parent refuses access, make-up virtual visits, documentation requirements, and enforcement steps.
Electronic Access and Child Support
Electronic access, encompassing electronic communication, virtual visitation, and digital contact, has become a cornerstone of modern custody agreements and parenting plans. While these tools are essential for maintaining a strong parent-child relationship, especially when parents live far apart or have busy work schedules, it’s important to understand that electronic access does not directly impact a parent’s child support obligation.
Under the Texas Family Code, child support is calculated based on factors such as each parent’s income, the child’s needs, and other financial considerations, not on how often a parent connects with their child via phone, video, or instant messaging.
Courts encourage parents to include detailed electronic communication agreements in their parenting plans. These agreements can specify the terms of electronic access, including the frequency and timing of virtual visits, the platforms to be used, and each parent’s responsibilities. When properly drafted, these agreements become enforceable contracts, and a parent who refuses to comply with court-ordered electronic communication may face legal consequences. However, not all court orders automatically include provisions for electronic communication, so parents may need to negotiate or seek a court order to establish a suitable arrangement.
When determining whether to award electronic access, courts consider several factors to ensure the child’s well-being and safety. The child’s age, maturity, and specific needs play a significant role in shaping the format and frequency of virtual visitation. For example, younger children may benefit from shorter, more frequent video calls or supervised virtual visits, while older children might prefer independent texting or longer conversations. Safety concerns are paramount, especially in family violence cases, where electronic communication may be restricted, supervised, or even prohibited to protect the child.
Electronic communication can serve as an appropriate substitute for in-person visits in certain situations, such as when the non-custodial parent lives far away or when co-parents have conflicting work schedules. Still, it’s crucial to set clear guidelines for virtual visitation, including designated times, limits on screen time, and measures to protect the child’s privacy. Technical difficulties or changes in circumstances may require adjustments to the electronic communication arrangement, and parents should be prepared to adapt as needed to maintain meaningful contact.
Ultimately, electronic access is a valuable tool for supporting the parent-child relationship when in-person visits are not possible. By proactively including electronic communication agreements in custody agreements and parenting plans, parents can help ensure their child’s needs are met and their relationship remains strong, no matter the distance or challenges. As technology continues to evolve, electronic access will only become more integral to family law and co-parenting, offering new ways for parents and children to stay connected.
Privacy, Supervision, and What Parents Cannot Do During Electronic Communication
The Child’s Right to Privacy
Courts generally prohibit a parent from eavesdropping on a child’s conversation with the other parent during electronic communication, emphasizing the importance of child privacy. Parents should provide a private space for the child to communicate without interference during electronic communication. Eavesdropping, hovering within earshot, or monitoring the child’s screen during a call is a violation of the child’s privacy and the spirit of the court order.
No Relaying Adult Disputes
Parents should not use electronic communication time to relay messages to the other parent through the child. The child’s conversation should belong to the child and the parent they’re speaking with. Using a call to pass along complaints, legal documents, or emotional pressure through the child is harmful to that child and is not good co-parenting practice.
No Coaching or Adult Conversations
Parents should avoid using virtual visits to involve the child in adult conversations about the case, the divorce, or the other parent. Courts take a dim view of parents who use electronic access as a vehicle for parental alienation or to monitor what the other parent is doing.
Enforcement When a Parent Refuses Electronic Access
If the other parent refuses to allow court-ordered electronic communication, you have legal options to enforce a parent’s access.
Document every denied or disrupted virtual visit with timestamps, screenshots, and communication logs. If you attempted contact and received no response, note that. If you received an obstruction message, save it.
Courts can order make-up virtual visits, impose sanctions, or modify the parenting plan after enforcement filings. In Texas, a Rule 11 Agreement, a written document signed by both parties and filed with the court, can formalize an electronic communication agreement and make it enforceable as a court order.
If the current custody order doesn’t include terms for electronic communication, the parent seeking access can file a modification lawsuit to change it. Courts may also limit how often a parent can talk to their child to prevent interference with the other parent’s time, ensuring that electronic communication does not disrupt scheduled parenting arrangements. A parent refuses to allow court-ordered electronic communication at their own legal risk.
What Happens If You Move
Texas and several other states have laws stating that virtual visitation cannot be used to justify a parent’s relocation away from the other parent. Electronic communication does not substitute for physical proximity or replace the child’s access to in-person parenting time. If a parent wishes to relocate, they must go through the proper modification process. Courts will not accept “but we have video calls” as a substitute for the relationship built through regular, in-person parenting time.
When Electronic Communication Fits Into the Bigger Picture
Virtual visitation became significantly more common during the COVID-19 pandemic, when non-custodial parents needed ways to maintain parent and child relationships across physical separation. For most children, this shift normalized what had previously been a secondary consideration in most custody agreements. Virtual visitation helps bridge the gap between in-person visits, especially when they are infrequent due to distance or other factors. It can also reduce children’s feelings of separation during divorce.
Today, most courts are open to approving virtual visitation as part of custody orders and parenting plans if it serves the child’s best interests. The parent-child relationship is the goal. Guidance on electronic communication addresses legal regulations and parental agreements, emphasizing court standards and parental flexibility. Electronic communication is one tool for maintaining the parent-child bond. A well-drafted clause in your custody order makes sure that tool is available when you need it.
Talk to a Family Law Attorney
If your current custody order doesn’t address electronic communication, or if you’re being denied virtual access to your child, Family Law of North Texas can help. Call (945) 300-5522 or visit familylawofnorthtexas.com.
This article is for general educational purposes and does not constitute legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, please consult a licensed Texas family law attorney.